Today seems to be an important day to most people...and I cannot agree more. Today ... is the day...
I run for QUEEN OF THE WORLD!
Yes, you read that correctly. You want me to rule this universe and now please allow me to explain why-
As your Queen, I would end all hate in this world by making everyone take a happy pill (Twix bars)
I would end world hunger by giving everyone cake...and possibly pho
I would force a new Everyone Must Shower Once A Day rule. This is a lesson learned from those affecting my life
I would create bike freeways so that they will stop riding into my lane while I drive to work
Guys are allowed to droop their pants down only 4 inches from their waist
Women must drop their skirts at least 8 inches from their waist
I would ensure taxes will be lowered because I will wipe away all debt from everyone and start anew and then take the money and then I'll take the resources and build my empire with Charmin toilet paper and tiramisu.
Err... Well, you can vote for me to be president at least...
Oh, Obama just won? Well, I guess now I have four more years to prep for the next election.