Yes fine, I will finally do it. I've never felt so conflicted of whether or not to celebrate this...well, this.
And what better way to do it than to do in a poem form. Ahem.
Conflicted - with the feeling of joy yet at the same time, despair.
Am I to be ashamed or not even try to care?
Day in, day out, it never seems to stop.
Each time I hear a new version I feel my heart drop.
It started off innocently with a letter or two.
"Ophilia" "Opelia" Ofelia" "Ohelia" well, what can I do?
But then people got creative and here's what makes me cry,
"Alifr"? "Offy"?? "Gchelia" ??? Oh My.
I guess I feel special to find misspellings of this magnitude,
It always makes me laugh when I'm in quite the mood.
What is next, I'm not sure if I want to know.
But what ever it is, you will be the first I'll show.
Because names that defy the English language lacking grammar, vowels, and sense,
Are the best and easiest for me to take offense.