Thursday, April 7, 2011

Life Lessons. Argue less, laugh more

Running on 4 hours of sleep for 22 hours does not feel great.

It's even worse when you pass that "Walking Zombie" mode and then become energized again. It's worse because you want to sleep but no longer can.

Anyway, while being sleep deprived and exhausted, I contemplated on whether or not I should comment on this topic. Alas, my moral responsibility stepped into play and I feel that there are times when writing out your thoughts and emotions help put a better perspective on your personal life.

It is absolutely crucial in life to be able to communicate. Communicate emotions and opinions with one another. Social interactions guide our growth and opens our eyes to new perspectives.

The only problem lies in the execution. 

If you believe angry yelling and fighting are the only solutions, then you are jaded. Life brings hardships and obstacles yet the way to solve it should not have to involve anger. 

Anger is really like a drug, it makes you crazy. So heated with frustration that your outlook is clouded. Your deductive reasoning wanes away while emotions take over. Yelling ensues, fighting, and suddenly an explosion of negativity suffocates you.

It is easy to overreact, jump out of your seat and point fingers. "He said that!" "She is so wrong!" 

It is difficult to say that anyone and everyone can always control his or her emotions and handle every situation calmly. But the point is that it should be something you strive for. 

You may notice that in an argument, the loudest person with the most emotion is never the reasonable one. It is always the calm and quieter individual who holds more strength in their argument. I use to be such a temperamental teenager. Ready to fight about everything, taking all situations too personally, easily offended and reluctant to apologize. But life goes on, you grow up and you learn.

I guess my point is that there have been numerous situations over the past few days where a number of people have been unnecessarily aggressive. The pattern repeats. But my outlook in life is that it is okay to be upset, in fact, you should let all the frustrations out (privately) but as time passes and you have allowed yourself to calm down, you need to look back on the situation and point out the faults. 

No, not only the faults of the other party. But your own faults. Where did you go wrong? What should have you done? Do any of the things that you complain about apply to you? Perhaps you are frustrated with someone for doing something that you yourself are guilty of doing.

I try to remind myself of this mentality whenever a situation occurs. And I suggest you do too. You are not perfect and you are not always right. If you can actually find a fault, big or small, in every situation that you can learn from then I believe you will be a better person for it. 

I believe success in life is about living and learning. Listening plays a large role. Sometimes it is better to be indifferent and take your personal opinions away. Treat a situation as an outsider, don't take it personally. Let's make it not an "argument" every time but more of a "discussion." The less fighting in life, the more peaceful.

I have faith in change, in the betterment of people. I have to choose to be a better person and continue to learn from my mistakes. With that, I feel happier and the mere fact that I'm trying feels satisfying.

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